She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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