it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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