are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
