There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
