I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
