question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
