What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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