I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
