Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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