Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
