Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
