i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Randomize
