I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
