So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He felt like a one man threesome
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
