just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
