I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
