I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
