i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
