If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
