Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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