I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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