omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
