so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Mom said you looked used
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
