so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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