You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
