Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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