Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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