He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
