normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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