next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You are the jesus of drinking
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
