if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
