Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
