I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
