kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
