new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
