come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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