Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
