she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
