After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
