Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
