I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
