What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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