You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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