i dont even know how to be here
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
