Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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