Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
BRING THE BAGELS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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