the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
A bitchslap is in order.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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