dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
