I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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