Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
