Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish i was in the wii world.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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