I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
