real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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