my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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